The Cooler

Lots to cover from your mainstream media in this morning's Cooler...

A- Herald: Crappy beaches.

Swimmers were advised to stay out of the ocean from Golden Beach to Matheson Hammock on Wednesday after health officials discovered bacteria levels exceeding state standards at 12 Miami-Dade beaches.

[...]

Tests performed Monday measured two bacteria indicators -- fecal coliform and enterococci -- both found in human and animal waste.

B- Herald: Coral Gables blows stuff up on Saturday morning.

Residents who live near Ponce Circle Park will hear a loud siren about 7:30 a.m., followed by a series of bangs when the gutted office tower at 2801 Ponce De Leon Blvd., will implode.

C- Herald: United leaves Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International and Palm Beach

The airline, which operated four daily Ted flights out of Fort Lauderdale and one out of Palm Beach, is exiting the markets on Sept. 2 as part of its plan to cut 14 percent of its mainline domestic capacity in the fourth quarter.

I enjoyed flying TED out of FLL to Colorado each year. :(

D- Sun-Sentinel: Guilty.

From the witness stand, James Michael Forney told Broward County jurors he stabbed the prostitute eight times because she gurgled and it sounded like demons.

He had to kill the demons, Forney said, explaining the multiple stabbings.

E- Sun-Sentinel: 953 traffic tickets issued in 2 days on I-95 in Palm Beach County.

F- Miami Today: The current Camillus House is up for sale.

And Camillus's departure bodes well for the economic vitality of that area, said Tony Cho, president/broker with Metro 1 Properties, a Miami-based boutique commercial brokerage and investment firm focused around sustainable urban development.

Mr. Cho, who has a client that owns property in that neighborhood, said the presence of Camillus House and panhandling in that area scare off potential investors. He acknowledged that homelessness is a "very serious issue," but said strictly from the standpoint of attracting investors, the move of Camillus House will lead to economic gain.

"Having Camillus house in that neighborhood precludes a lot of restaurants and retailers," he said. "I see that as the more alternative retail and restaurants that would be linked to entertainment nearby."

G- CBS4: 1 trooper for every 20,779 registered vehicles. Woo hoo!!!

H- WPTV: 42-year-old Palm Beach Gardens woman is selling her house and herself with it.

PALM BEACH GARDENS, FL -- A struggling single parent and real estate agent is trying to sell her house and find a husband. She's auctioning off both her home and her love in a package deal on eBay and Craigslist.

Single mother of two girls, ages 14 and 21, Deven Traboscia has been divorced for eight years. She had hoped to be remarried by now, so she is turning to the internet for help.

The 42-year-old real estate agent, tired of struggling on her own, came up with a package deal to auction off her Palm Beach Gardens home and herself on both eBay and Craigslist.

Traboscia told News Channel 5 "If I have to place an ad to find my prince charming, I will. I'm doing it for the real reasons, the right reasons, honest, sincerity and respect. And I hope whoever reads it will read me that way."

I'm making no comment to this story but to say that Deven's picture says it all.

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